FAQ'S KOOZIE Can Koolers

Frequently Asked Questions This will be the mother of all Frequently Asked Koozie Questions - in approximate order of seriousness :)

What is the basic KOOZIE^® Can Kooler ordering Process?
Great Question. Here is how it works. You, the customer who really wants the best KOOZIE^® Can Kooler for their event selects the style of KOOZIE^® Can Kooler they would like. Foam, Collapsible, etc. Go to the order page and fill out the easy online order form and make payment. You will immediately receive an email confirmation of the details of your order. A few days later, we will email you a proof of your order to approve before we print (unless you ordered blanks). You can either approve it, or make changes, if you make changes, we will update the proof and send you another with those changes, once you approve we will ship via UPS those beautiful KOOZIE^® Can Koolers to your door. You will then enjoy cool drinks for years to come. Simple eh?

How long does it take to get my KOOZIE^® Can Koolers ? I want 'em bad!!!
We get your KOOZIE^® Can Koolers to you on or before the date you need them. Our order form has a "When do you need them?" Field (Item 7) You give us the date, and we get them to you on or before that date. We don't ship them on that date. We get them in your hands to use by that date. Now if it is a short time frame there are rush fees. :) The rush fees vary throughout the season, and can be found on our shipping pages.

Are there any coupons to save money?

Like us On Facebook and get 10% discount code. Go to our page, and Click on "Click Here for Discount" Like us and get 10% off discount code.

Can I get my KOOZIE^® Can Koolers rushed to me? (I waited too late?)
Yes. That is the short answer. Many of our customers are just like us, they realize at the last minute that KOOZIE^® Can Koolers are exactly what they need to make the party/wedding favor/event perfect. So we do offer rush options. Rush fees can be found shipping pages. We do guarantee they will get there, as long as you approve your art quickly. We REALLY, REALLY want you to have your Wedding KOOZIE^® s !

Can you match the color to _______________?
Ummmm No. For years we tried to delicately dance around this question. But the truth is KOOZIE^® Can Koolers runs come out slightly different, and the heat that we use to cure the ink changes the color slightly. So we cannot match. We have posted pictures of the colors of our KOOZIE^® Can Koolers , but every monitor is a little different. We feel confident that the black is black, but we will not answer questions like "Is the Forest Green like a Kentucky fescue grass green or more like an 8 year old male booger green?" Please don't be angry. It is so subjective and each person has their opinion on what a color looks like. KOOZIE^® Can Koolers are just for fun. Sidenote: We did have a bride order her KOOZIE^® Can Koolers , and get her wedding dress and shoes to match. We LIKE her!!

Can I get a sample?
Certainly. Click Here, and for $5.00 including shipping and handling we will ship you one printed sample of each our 4 styles.

Can I submit my own art? How do I do that?
Yes! Our art requirements are listed here and are fairly specific as we want you to get the best looking KOOZIE^® Can Koolers possible. When you place your order, the VERY last page of the order form will ask you if you would like to attach your art. Just click on that, and attach your art, and it will be associated with your order. Pretty easy.

Is your site secure?
YEs, We take security seriously. Our site uses ssl protocol, and your information is run through Authorize.net - the leader in online security.

I don't trust this dang internet thingy, what can I do?
We get that. Some folks would like to mail in an order. You can download a word order form here or a Pdf order form here. Fill it out, and fax it or mail it to us.

Do I have to use the names and dates in your art graphics?
Yes, we know it is a little awkward, but we hope you can work around that. JUST KIDDING! Those are there for visual representation. Tell us in Section 6 of the order form the names, dates, location that you would like us to print. Then we will customize the perfect KOOZIE^® Can Kooler for you.

Do you sell blank KOOZIE^® Can Koolers ?
Yes we do. If you would like to order blank KOOZIE^® Can Koolers , order koozies and in the order form Select No screen charge, and No art Charge, and for print design, select Blank. You will get blanks. Blank KOOZIE^® Can Koolers do not usually do not deliver quicker just because they are blank, we get them to you on or before your due date. Due to the large number of KOOZIE^® Can Koolers we print, we do not rush blanks through the system.

How Much are 100 Foam KOOZIE^® Can Koolers delivered to my door?
This is a good way to calculate fees on Koozies. 100 koozies at the price break is .79 per KOOZIE^® Can Koolers . There is a screen charge of $40.00 for every new order and $13.00 shipping and handling. Total $132.00 Now if you have us create or manipulate your artwork, or if there are rush fees there will be extra charges.

Why are your prices so low?
Hmmmm, Don't look a gift horse . . . .. No, we get it, and we have been asked that more than a few times over the years. We love KOOZIE^® Can Koolers and that is all we do. So we have fine tuned all of our processes over the past 11 years to be good at one thing. Bring you the best KOOZIE^® Can Koolers for the best price.

What the heck is a screen charge?
Good question. A screen charge is a fee to cover the cost of creating a screen for screen printing. In screen printing, a high tensile very thick screen is built, then a thick liquid called emulsion is poured across it and smoothed over. This screen is let dry in a dark, dust free room. On the other side of the process, your artwork is reversed and then the image is transferred onto a clear film and then that image is burnt into the screen. This burning process hardens the outside of your image, and leaves the image itself as a softer substance. The screen is now run through a precise pressure washer that washes out your image leaving clear screen at that spot. Then we dry the screen in a dust free environment, we tape off all the edges and any bad spots and test it for a good ink pass through. If this works well, then we print your KOOZIE^® Can Koolers . Once the KOOZIE^® Can Koolers are printed, we completely clean the emulsion out of the screen, and then dry it in a dust free environment to do it all over again. For the time and materials, we charge $40.00. Any screenprinter will tell you this is a losing proposition, but part of the cost of doing business in a professional manner.

How come some other guys don't charge screen charges?
There are other guys? :) Well, they do. They just put it in other charges like a shell game. We like to see our screen charge as one cost. You know what it is, and the more KOOZIE^® Can Koolers you order, the less impact it has. Also, if you order an EXACT repeat of a prior order we reduce your screen charge in half.

Do you have restocking fee? cancellation fee? or reduction fee?
Well first, we would anyone want to cancel an order? That is the real question. We get it, there are times when an order needs to be cancelled. We charge a fair restocking fee of !0 cents per production for cancellation, or reduction in order.

Do you have metallic (silver and gold) ink?
We do. You can do metallic inks on our foam KOOZIE^® Can Koolers . They have the only surface that will accept metallic inks. The cost for metallic inks is 10 cents per koozie.

What is the most popular KOOZIE^® Can Koolers ?
The foam and collapsible KOOZIE^® Can Koolers definitely outsell the other models. They both tie when it comes to popularity. Over the years, the difference between the two of them has been just a few percentage points.

Who has the worlds largest Koozie collection?
Without the beefit of the new Census numbers, we think we do. We count roughly 264 in active use. Now that is the benefit of many years of KOOZIE^® collecting, proper storage and maintenance and a fanatical love of KOOZIE^® Can Koolers gives us an unfair advantage. If you can document a larger collection, please email bob@drinkoutloud.com and we will credit you.

Where can I get the worlds cheapest Koozie?
Well, certainly not here. That is for sure. We offer quality KOOZIE^® Can Koolers at a great price, not cheapest. We have seen KOOZIE^® Can Koolers on craigslist for as low as .25. But these are people trying to profit from duplicates in their collections.

Where is the most expensive beverage insulator?
Again, certainly not here. We have seen a steel beverage insulator that went for $11.00 one time. I am sure that price can be beaten at some time.

How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
What does this have to do with KOOZIE^® Can Koolers ? Not much, but we wanted to cover everything, and the page is titled Frequently Asked Questions
The woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wanted!
(By the way what is a woodchuck? Is it like a gopher?)
The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.
Some say it depends on three factors:

* The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.
* The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.
* The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood when it is a woodchuck.

Others say:

* He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!
* A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.
* If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.
* One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.
* It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
* Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.
* It depends on how good his dentures are!
* A woodchuck - would chuck - as much wood - as a woodchuck - could chuck - if a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.
* About 5.72 fluid litres of wood (answer from the paper pulp mill).
* About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.
* Um....... 23????
* Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more wood than a woodchuck.
* If the woodchuck's name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wanted to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be allowed.
* Due to the average size of a woodchuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a woodchuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the woodchuck is functioning correctly.
* Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3 units of wood.
* "Sixteen and 1/2 board feet a day except on groundhog's day since groundhog is another name for woodchuck."- This answer is according to no less an authority than the 'Junior Woodchucks Guidebook', a publication often consulted by Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck and referred to yet again by them in answering this very same question.
* How Chuck Norris got involved-A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.
* None because a wood chuck cannot chuck wood! :P
* Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.
* 2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?
* As much as he needed to be satisfied
* But the true jokey answer, as told by my grandfather is: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* But it definitely couldn't chuck Chuck Norris.
* A group of people actually did a study on this. None of the wood chucks ate any wood planks so they never upchucked it but some of them chucked them (threw them) at people.
* During my study of Woodchuck I came to the conclusion that woodchucks don't chuck wood but only drink beer. (with Koozies? of course!)
* However, this beer can frequently motivate them towards actions that can closely resemble the chucking of wood.
* A woodchuck will only chuck certain wood, likely that which is found in their natural, prairie habitat. Therefore, the lack of trees on the prairie is quite closely related to the chucking of wood performed by these wood-chucking woodchucks.
* Since it is the same animal as the Groundhog, should we not instead ask : how much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog would hog ground?

Is the Pope Catholic?
Again. Relevance your honor? Just being complete.

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